She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've blown a few things in my day
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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