hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
