and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
vagina is talking i cant
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
