You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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