I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
