We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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