Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
