never play flip cup with pint glasses
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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