I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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