Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize