We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
