Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
