So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
