Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
