i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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