I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
