You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize