so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
