Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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