Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Too much gin, very little bucket
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize