oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
