Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
