i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
