why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
