Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize