Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
