she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
