im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
