he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
