Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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