So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
