we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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