Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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