we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
