I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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