it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
