I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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