Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
