I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
