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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Genius.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....

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• (917): View more from New York City

  "it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I wish drunk me came with subtitles

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?

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