If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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