I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
