I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We left the knife in your bed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
