So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
