walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
