Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
