rhymes with "ouble enetration"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
