Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
