The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can I color on your dick again?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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