You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
