sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
