And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize