I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
