i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I love you. Go after that dick
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
