Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
