You made me cry and you don't even care
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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