You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So much rum. So many feels.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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