Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
